Preparing for Montage

Today the cast of Montage and I are meeting in Swem to review and analyze the script while working on our verbs. Working on it as a group is helpful as it aligns our interpretations of the script. In class, we quickly discovered that there are more than one way to interpret lines, and it is important that we all understand it similarly in the interest of consistency.

I have begun doing breathing exercises before sleep and in the morning as recommended. It is a very calming exercise. I have also been working out more in order to improve my posture. I used to have very good posture which I worked hard to maintain due to my moderate-severe scoliosis. However, last year I got into a serious car accident which totaled my car. (I crashed into the research librarian of William and Mary -- what are the chances? Awkward...) The car accident is not what ruined my posture -- I was very lucky and sustained only injuries from sudden impact. However, I made the mistake of investing in a brace for my scoliosis in the months following the accident. Instead of helping, my muscles became underused and weaker, and my body was stretched in unnatural, uncomfortable ways. As a result of this poor posture, similar to that of an 80 year old woman, quality of life changed drastically. I didn't have the same stamina during work-outs. I had more trouble taking deep breaths. I lost vitality and confidence. People responded to me differently -- almost more condescendingly. I even caught mono, and over the next 6 months gained 20 pounds and watched my GPA drop. I believe these struggles were a result of my posture change. However, I believe it is within my control to strengthen and elongate my back and regain the posture which kept me healthy.
I've made improvements over the last several months, but there are no overnight changes. Breathing exercises really help enliven me and strengthen my respiratory system. Daily stretches help enormously. Hydration is important, too. Okay, enough about posture.

Time to go analyze the script.

Scenes Assigned!

Today’s class was interesting. We were divided into groups and started reading through the scenes we are going to later perform. I am part of a female quartet. All the girls in the group seem pretty nice though I’ve met them all through this class. 
The play was fun. There were some scenes that were blatantly funny and others just seemed boring and dragged on. Maybe further interpretation will help me to understand the purpose of these scenes and parts of the scenes so it becomes interesting.

My part seems easy enough to play. The character herself is very relatable. The hardest parts will be 1) not letting nerves compromise a performance 2) memorizing the lines.



Day 6

Today we channeled a previous memory using our senses and a cookie. The memory that came to my mind was one that happened at the end of last semester – my friend Mike, who has financial aid from the school, depleted his funds a month before they were to be replenished. He had carelessly spent his last few bills on food, beer and the like, and didn’t feel the reality of the situation until he actually ran out of money. He texted me in a distressed tone one day. We conversed until I understood the situation. I was resolved to not become his financial crutch – as I’ve made that mistake with another guy many years ago. However, I care about him, and I didn’t want him to fail his finals just because he was food-deprived.
I decided to buy him a meal. I picked him up. I’d brought a cookie with me but he only nibbled at it, mumbling that his body needed real food. I’d planned to buy a sandwich anyway, so we pulled up to the gas station and when I was done gassing up my car I went inside to buy a sandwich. I spotted one that had the brand name “POOR BOY” boldly printed all over the sandwich. I bought it and brought it out to him, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the name of the sandwich. I’d never seen someone make such a crappy looking sandwich look so delicious … but he choked it down like it was gourmet Thanksgiving cuisine. He didn’t ask me for a meal again after that, which I appreciated.
In acting out the scene, I learned a little bit about my acting. I think I need to find a way to “surrender” though this was my first attempt at acting (unless you count third grade plays). I learned that I had a harder time acting out the scene when it took a direction that diverged from reality – the Professor said, pretending to be Mike, “How much money do you have?” Instead of doing my best to picture Mike asked that, and responding to it (In real life I may have responded with a “why?”) I lost the image of the moment in my mind and didn’t know what to say. Just because in real life Mike did not actually ask that, he could have asked it in a play version. Acting involves some make-believe and I need to learn to go with it.
Anyway, my favorite part of the class so far is the warm-ups. I bet some professors would be surprised at how much more engaging their classes would be if every single class – regardless of the subject—began with warm-ups. Sometimes a little exercise is all it takes to make the difference between an attentive, centered mind and a scattered feeling of absence. Props to the professor on the warm-ups.

Day 5

I enjoyed the acting exercise today. It reminded me of preschool when we all used to be able to play up close and personal without any weirdness. It was fun and incited feelings of cooperation. I liked having eyes closed as that ridded me of irrational insecurities ("will this person want to hold my hand??" etc) It was fun and hard to keep from laughing. I thought my arms were gonna split every so often. Some people need better hygiene. I hope mine was okay. Why were there two circles and one was so much smaller? Big circle should get more effort points (I was in the big circle). We were taught to communicate without sound and there was much head-nuzzling into arms, arm taps and other forms of attempted communication.

It felt very primitive to detach from language & mind and use only instinct and our bodies. I am a fan of natural, instinctive, evolutionarily-supported behavior. Something felt more natural about this exercise than the regular classroom setting. We are likely more evolutionarily primed for comradery and physical communicative gestures than we are primed for formal classroom instruction, yet rarely depart from formality in the day-to-day.

Using instinct instead of our heads was very refreshing since I tend to think too much. It made me wonder what life would be like if I continued to use instinct and "leave my head." I'm sure I'd spend a lot more time with that guy who plays with my mind. I wondered what the benefit of using my instincts would have if others still use their heads. Would those using primarily instincts be at an advantage or disadvantage in such a scenario? What if everyone had to use only instincts for a day? The mind was turned off. That would be cool and probably serve meditative purposes for our over-used minds.

It also helped me understand society... I often wondered how our society has come to create such innovative things that have such disasterous consequences for our future generations. Darwinism proposes that we are inclined toward fitness, yet we eat nothing but junk food and cater to the laziness of America. I've been thinking about this a lot lately due to another class I'm taking. However, this exercise made me realize the vast differences between our instinctual decisions and those born from intellect. Our intellect can greatly mislead us, make us greedy for money, come up with complex ideas that will re-orient us toward a destructive future. Meanwhile, instincts are still oriented toward survival. The lesson in this is to not avoid our minds but it should not take priority over instinct.

Anyway, I went home and allowed my instinct to let me text that guy. He didn't reply at first, and my instinct made me want to run as far away from him as possible (I was insulted). Then, he replied, and alas, we were right back where we started. Nowhere. Good times.

Day 4

Today in class students acted out more scenes. We stopped mid-scene and did an exercise to help “internally discover” the character which we would play. My brain ran away and created some weird scene, leading me to think I may have done the exercise incorrectly.

In the exercise, I was instructed to open a door. It was a wooden door with a brass knob. I opened it. On the other side, I saw a man dressed in an ape costume. It was a cheap ape-costume, and it didn’t look that convincing. However, I somehow knew this man’s external, ape-like appearance mirrored an ape-like mentality. We were informed as a class that we really liked this person -- I presume in a sexual sort of way.
Ape-Man and I then played cards, walked through the woods -- and when we realized that it was a fantasy, we decided to go ahead and get married. I enjoyed the company of Ape-Man because of his clear departure from established societal norms and more naturalistic behavior.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. The person who I’d slept with 3 weeks ago was knocking. I opened the door, slightly nervous at the prospect of who might greet me. It turned out to be Fiona from Shrek, still in ogre-form. Fighting the urge to analyze my mate choice (“from what Freudian depth it sprung”), I introduced Fiona and Ape-Man. We stared at each other in awkward silence, until we realized we might as well all just have sex. So, nothing short of a freak-show followed.

When the exercise began, I felt consciously aware of shivers up and down my arms. The room became cold, especially after the lights were turned out. However, I soon forgot this slight discomfort as I entered more into the fantasy realm.

We were asked to complete an exercise outside of acting class. The exercise involved observing a room before entering, and entering, and noticing the reaction of those in the room. At my friend Mike’s house, the door is always unlocked. Some people just walk in while others knock. Since I am there a lot, I usually either walk in or knock lightly as I walk in. On this particular day, I just opened the door and walked in. Ben, Mike’s roommate, was sitting on the couch playing video games. He was staring intently at the screen as I opened the door, but he noticed my presence. He didn’t give any clear physical indication of noticing my presence, not one prominent enough for me to explicitly associate with noticing my presence. It may have been a stiffening of the body, or a slight adjustment of the neck. He did look over to see who I was shortly thereafter. It appeared that he looked over (to see who I was) when the game allowed him a second to divert his eyes. At this opportunity, he glanced over his left shoulder. When he saw it was me, he said “What’s up.” In reply, I said, “What’s up.” Then, with his head oriented toward me and his body oriented toward the screen, he slowly turned his neck and returned to his game. I walked behind him to the staircase, with his attention still focused on the game.

Day 3

Today in class students participated in scenes which were partially instructed – the rest seemed to be improvisation. The first scene involved a student flipping through his camera while another student attempted to dress him with a hair piece. The conflict of goals made an interesting display to watch. Additionally, the hair piece on the guy looked humorous.
In the second scene, a student sat on the bench adjusting his tie. Another student volunteered and knocked on the door while waiting outside in the cold. He didn’t know what to do and looked to the professor for direction - - the professor told him not to. Eventually he opened the door, but the female student continued to do her instructed action – knock—despite the fact that the door was then open. This led to the lesson that in acting, you do what you are supposed to do unless something happens that makes you do otherwise. It would not make sense for her to continue knocking at the door when it was open.
The second scene was not quite as interesting to watch as the first, and it is probably because the lines “Do you like my tie” and “I like your tie” wore on the ears after 1000 times. Also, there is not much comical about a guy wearing a tie – perhaps if a child was trying on a tie or even a female would make it slightly more interesting (though many females do wear ties, especially waitresses).
I personally did not volunteer and now that I am asked to reflect on why, my reasoning makes me feel crazy. However, the reason that I did not volunteer is because of the palpable flirtation between a female and male student. I recognized this flirtation from the beginning of class. The male student volunteered, and with the female’s eyes glued to his every movement, I did not really want to get involved. Sure enough, she volunteered next. In my analytical mind, should I volunteer, it would be like getting in the middle of a predator-hunting-prey situation. I wanted to steer clear. Basically, declaring my disinterest in any way possible would keep the classroom from negative or competitive vibes. Anyway, this seems a bit ridiculous now that I articulate it, and perhaps next time I will volunteer.

Day 2

In the reading, it suggests that an actor must put all his being into the theatre, into the part of the character. One must concentrate so intently as to birth the soul of the character and display this soul artistically with the utilization of all five senses. This teaching, while it makes sense, also makes it more understandable that some actors and actresses lose themselves in the part.
I was recently watching a talk show, (Conan – the best) and studied the behaviors of the actors as they were interviewed. Were they crazy? Had they lost themselves? Did they ever know themselves? These questions plagued my mind throughout each interview. Some were more apparently vulnerable to this identity confusion than others – for instance, William H. Macy stood out. If I saw him on the street, I’d say, wow, that homeless alcoholic should really take a shower, shave his beard, and get a job. If I saw him ten years ago, I’d say, that is a normal person. (Well, I probably wouldn’t say that, but he wouldn’t make any unusual impression). It turned out that his most recent role was that of an alcoholic. Macy undoubtedly did a good job of physically portraying the character – but did he leave the character behind when the movie finished? I could only subjectively analyze the interview, and of course he may have been nervous, but he did raise suspicion.
It takes time to know oneself fully, and if actors begin acting at such a young age, do they really get the time to know themselves? Or do they become a mixture of themselves along with characters they have portrayed? I personally would be cautious to play a troubled character. I’d choose peaceful, happy, prosperous characters with the knowledge that I could potentially lose myself in this persona.

Anyway, I recently did something I had never done before, and paid attention to my senses as I did this act. I do not watch TV often, but there is a particular show I’ve never seen before (nor did I have any interest in seeing). So, I went on Hulu and played “Bob’s Burgers” on mute. It was on mute because I was in Swem Library. I played it for five long minutes. It was visually entertaining and boring in every other regard. I noticed that my visual acuity became heightened without the sound. As the character on the screen shivered in the freezer, I became aware of my own arms, slightly chilly. The taste on my tongue was the coffee I was drinking, rather bitter with a hint of milk – though the show did make me briefly think of burgers and it sounded pretty good. Though the library has scattered, quiet noise on the first floor, I became tuned into the program and noticed only the silence from the screen.